FLYING ON THE WINGS OF CRITICISM.
is part of human nature to want to be appreciated at all times. Man by
his composition wants to be praised and worshiped. This is an attribute
we inherited from God almighty who created us in His image and likeness.
So, naturally when people say good things about us, we feel great on
the inside and feel the reverse when the opposite is the case.
people cannot stand criticism. They see their critics as enemies and
treat them as such. But is there any benefit in criticism? How am I
supposed to see my critics? What attitude am I expected to put up when
people criticize me? It could be painful when you hear unpalatable
things about yourself outside. Unfortunately, we live in a society where
people enjoy saying negative things about others. Indeed, gossip is
like a soothner to the battering we receive daily from our harsh
environment. Journalists often say that bad news sells faster. This
assertion couldn't be truer in our society. The irony however is that,
the fellows who sit down to say negative things about you feel good when
saying it, perhaps over bottles of beer and pepper soup, but you
naturally feel the reverse when those words eventually get to you. But
in all of this, how do you react?
are potential great minds today, who would have become celebrated in
their fields of interest by virtue of the innovations they would bring
to the table, but could not do so for the fear of criticism. There are
many champions out there, whose feathers have been clipped because they
allowed criticism to hamper the will of their progress. Your reaction to
negative comments about your person and activities would eventually
determine the height of your attainment. Put in a better way, your
attitude to criticism, will determine your altitude in life.
you are criticized, sit down in your closet, alone, and dissect the
content of the criticism, asking yourself genuinely with humility and
utmost objectivity the following questions:
1. Where could this criticism have generated from?
2. Is there any element of truth in the criticism?
is important you trace the source as to have a fair idea of the motive
behind the criticism. Again, is there any element of truth in the
criticism? Chances are that there would be a small fraction of truth,
enveloped in a robe of exaggerated fallacies. Most times, we get so
enraged with the fallacies that we fail to notice the tiny elements of
When people criticize you openly
or generate rumors about you underground, do not see them as your
enemies. Rather, calmly dissect the content of the criticism. Those
things they accuse you of, are you really doing them? Do not be angered
by the coloured exaggerations, look beneath and x-ray the tiny truths
embedded in those fabrications. Therein could lie the ladder on which
you climb to the top if you take time to address the issues so raised.
Indeed, your critics are pointing out the weakness in you. Some of them
may actually be doing it with the intent of running you down. Some also
might be doing it with the intent of correcting you and bringing out
the best in you. So do not see them as your enemies, but rather as
agents of your ascension.
A couple of
days ago, I was invited to the men's dinner by pastor Mrs. Funke
Felix-Adejumo, to round off the annual women's convention. During the
dinner, the general overseer of Agape Christian Ministries, bishop Felix
Adejumo made a revelation in the course of his sermon, that I wish to
share with you here. According to the revered man of God, a couple of
years back, he returned home then at Oba-Ile housing estate, after a
hectic day. After taking a shower, he sat on the dinning table to do
justice to the sumptuous meal that his lovely wife had prepared for him.
While he was at it, his son Gbenga walked up to him and jokingly said,
"daddy, you are enjoying o". He responded also by jokingly saying, "of
course, why won't I enjoy in my house"? And the son dropped the
bombshell. He said, "daddy, this is not your house"! According to the
bishop, the food turned sour in his mouth. If the son had stopped there,
it probably would have been 'better' for the bishop. But he did not.
Gbenga went on to say, "daddy, this is not your house, we know the
landlord"! That was simply unbearable for the bishop. According to him,
that very moment, he dropped his cutleries, called his wife and said to
her, "today, we shall get a land to build our own house". From the
dinning table, the bishop and the wife drove out in search of a piece of
land. That same day, they got the object of their search and today the
rest is history.
For the revered
clergy, it took criticism from his son to catapult him to the next
level. He did not view his critic as his enemy. He analyzed the content
of the criticism and found therein elements of bitter truths. He
addressed the defects therein and it became for him a stepping stone to
the next level. Some other fathers would have shut up the boy, insulted
and even cursed him for daring to criticize them. And course, they would
remain at the same spot, if not deteriorate.
criticism is not evil in itself. Your reaction to it is what determines
in what direction the wind blows you. You could choose to fly on the
wings of criticism or get drowned by the weight of its substance.
DON'T OVER-BURDEN GOD! (PART 1)
have been adjudged the most religious people on earth. We are known to
be very fervent in prayers and religious activities, even to the
amazement of the very race through whom the faith came to us.
of the beliefs that many of us hold over the years is that if we
worship God with all of our hearts and serve Him with all of our souls,
He will in turn open the windows of heaven unto us and shower us with
abundant blessings beyond human comprehension.
over the years have lived with this conviction and have ended up in
absolute frustration, in some cases causing them to abandon the faith
and distancing themselves from religious activities altogether.
paradox here is that, quite a number of persons who do not practice the
act of faith in God have prospered immensely. I do not refer to people
who became prosperous from dubious means. I mean those who have achieved
success through legitimate means. This brings to mind the question of
the place of God in the attainment of earthly success.
God created man, He gave him all he will ever need to make a success of
himself. This was why after he created Adam, He never went back to
create another, because every other man is a product of the first and
carries the seed that was embedded ab initio in the original mortal
creation. How far each man will go thus depends on how far he is willing
I drive a car that has a
maximum speed capacity of 240km/hr. but I have never exceeded 130km/hr
even while traveling. Some fellows would never go beyond 100km/hr and
some drivers could drive at 160km/hr! So the speed at which we go in
life is a function of the driver and not necessarily that of the
vehicle. Because the vehicle of life is virtually the same. It is the
mentality of the driver that makes the difference.
seed of greatness lies in everyone of us. Whether we will eventually
become great is a function of our willingness to pay the price of
nurturing that seed to fruition. This is where many people miss it. They
expect God to water the seed, nurture it, harvest the fruits and put it
on their table, all because they worship Him in spirit and in truth.
was delivering a lecture last week in a seminar and I told them that
God is not a waster. He will not do for you what He has given you the
power to do for yourself. I illustrated by dropping a book on the floor
and I told them that no matter how much of a prayer warrior I am, no
matter how much I fast and pray and speak in tongues, God would not
harken to my prayer, asking Him to make the book come up into my hands.
God is not a magician. God is not a waster of resources. He will not do
for you what He has given you the power to do for yourself.
Unfortunately, this is the kind of 'magic' we expect God to perform. We
bury ourselves in religious activities and refuse to THINK. We refuse to
look inward and nurture our seed. We refuse to process the raw
materials that God has deposited in us and earnestly look up to Him for
I stated in a
seminar recently that if God would open our spiritual eyes, we would see
how that angels laugh at some of our prayers! I can imagine these
angels saying "look at this ignorant chap", because of the ridiculous
prayers we sometimes offer.
Imagine someone fervently
fasting and praying that God should bless him, while he, on his own part
is not engaging his thinking faculties. I would rather he prays thus;
"God, open my eyes that I may behold the gems of greatness in me and
give me the grace to nurture them to fruition".
truth of the matter is that even an atheist, if he looks inward, thinks
hard and discovers the seeds of greatness in him, will make a remarkable
success in his chosen field and soon become a rallying point for other
onlookers, in spite of their religious commitments.
friends, let us stop over-burdening God. He has deposited in us all we
will ever need to make success out of life. Success does not come by
religious piety, it comes by the application of principles. And
principles are no respecter of persons. Whoever applies them, reaps the
fruits thereof. Knowing God and worshiping Him in spirit and in truth is
but an added advantage.
DON'T OVER-BURDEN GOD! (part 2).
WHERE IS YOUR PLAN?
week, I started this series by admonishing us not to over-burden God. I
wrote that God is not a waster of resources and would not do for you
what He has given you power to do for yourself. I went on to emphasize
that success does not come by religious piety, but by the application of
This week, I shall commence the unveiling of the principles by which your dreams can come through.
young man, carrying a luggage, heads for the motor park. He saw several
buses each with a conductor shouting different destinations. One of the
bus conductors on sighting him, felt he was a potential customer and
walked up to him, asking him this question; "oga, where are you going".?
The young man looked at the bus conductor with confusion written all
over him and said, "I actually don't know where I am going". The bus
conductor looked at him angrily and said, "if you don't know where you
are going, then you can join any of these buses, because any bus can as
well take you to anywhere"!
This is the
pathetic situation of many a people. They have not been able to sit
down and define for themselves what exactly they want out of life and
draw out a plan of how to go about achieving it, step-by-step. The irony
of this misdemeanor is that nature does not allow for a vacuum, for
where you fail to define your life, the people and the circumstances
around you will define your life for you. And you dare not complain
afterwards, because they have helped you to do what you have failed to
do for yourself.
What exactly do you
want out of life? Let me put it this way; what do you want to achieve
before you die? What do you want us to remember you for after departing
this planet? Have you taken time to ask yourself this question and
provide sincere answers to them? If your answer is NO, then you are just
like that young man in that motor park who is about to join a bus,
heading to the middle of Nowhere.
me quickly add this. It is not enough to set a definite goal. You must
commit it to writing and assign a date to each phase. Yes, you must put
a timing to the goal. Having done this, put it in a place where you can
SEE it daily; indeed every morning first thing as you wake up. There is
a little "magic" attached to this prescription. When your eyes behold
daily, the things your hands wrote and is believed in your heart, the
forces of destiny cause an irresistible gravitation of resources that
eventually cause the writing to be clothed with a garment of
The dates attached to the steps may vary,
the process may alter, but the ultimate goal faileth not. Though it
tarries, it shall indeed come to pass.
friends, where is your game-plan? Where is your road-map to the
fulfillment of your destiny? I know some of you would probably say that
you have a plan. That you know what you want out of life and know how to
go about it even without writing it down. How simplistic! While I am
not about to go into a debate with you, I would admonish you to follow
this simple prescription. Write down your goal. Assign a time limit to
each phase. Put it in a place where you can see it daily. Read it aloud
to yourself everyday. Follow this prescription, and see how things turn
around for you!
Life is not a bed of
roses. But at least, it shouldn't be a mat of thorns. When we have a
clear cut definition of what we want out of life, the journey becomes
smoother and definitive. It then indeed becomes easier for us to
distinguish between the helpers of our destiny and the enemies of our
dreams. It takes focus to recognize distraction. For where there is no
focus, distraction becomes attraction.
DON'T OVER-BURDEN GOD! (part 3)
This week, i shall proceed to discuss the second pillar in the school of success.
pillar is known as HARD WORK. This is what differentiates mere wishers
from dreamers. Anybody can dream, but hard work is the currency you need
to pay to purchase your dreams and cause it to be clothed with the
garment of reality. This is the point where many dreamers miss it. They
dream of a bright tomorrow and even go ahead to confess it to as many
people as care to listen. However, any dream that is not enforced by the
pillar of hard work will remain a fantasy and eventually evaporate into
thin air, or at best remain in the mind of the dreamer and constitute
itself into a veritably source of frustration.
your dream to come through, you must commit yourself totally to it. You
must go full time, to go full length. This is another point where most
dreamers miss it. They major in their minor and minor in their major.
Now that you have defined what your dream is, as stated in the last
edition of this magazine, you can't afford to do it part-time. Agreed,
you may start small, but have it at the back of your mind that if you
will excel in it, you must give it your all. You may need to resign from
that your paid job in order to give life to that dream. I can see
someone flinching right now. Resign from a secured job and settle for a
dream whose success cannot yet be guaranteed? Yes! Whenever you shut
doors of escape behind you, there is an unusual force of elevation that
comes to your aid and ensure that that you are taken to the next level.
years ago, there was an army general who was to go to war against the
army of another country. His opponents have a bigger, stronger and more
sophisticated weaponry than his. One night, he loaded all of his
soldiers in seven boats and rowed across the river to the shores of his
opponents. He ordered his army to alight and before their very eyes, he
set theirs boats ablaze. While the boats up inflame, he said to them
"there it goes in flame, our only source of escape. We either win this
battle or we shall all perish"! The end of the story is that they won.
many doors of escape is a deterrent to hard work. Shut all other doors
behind you and tell it loud to yourself; "if I perish, I perish".
History has it that anyone that puts up courage to so declare and acts
upon such declaration, perishes not. Forces of nature gravitate in the
direction of such a soul and supply the resources needed to lift him or
her to the next level.
Hard work begins from the mind, else your energy goes to waste.
must start by THINKING HARD. Engage your thinking faculty to the
fullest. Sometimes, my wife complain about me talking to myself. This is
because when sometimes I am deeply engrossed in dream-thoughts, I
unconsciously look aloof and mutter some of the mental images to myself.
The truth is, every awesome achievement we behold today, started off as
a thought in the mind of a thinker. So, don't over-burden God, engage
your thinking faculty.
Have you heard
the saying that time is money? You have just 24hours in a day. How you
invest it determines what you get out of it. Most people spend so much
time in leisure and spend very little time in the pursuit of their
dreams. When do you wake up in the morning? How much time do you SPEND
watching television? How much time do you SPEND 'gisting' with friends?
How much time do you spend partying? How much time do you SPEND on that
hobby? When you subtract these from 24hrs, how much time is left? If
your dreams must come through, you must bury yourself in your job. I
have deliberately written the word 'spend' in capital letters. This is
to emphasize the fact that time is actually a currency and what you
spend it on determines what you buy at the end of the day.
friends, it is time to go to work. It is time to bury yourself in your
work. It is time to be tagged a 'workaholic' by your associates. Let
people see that you are going somewhere by virtue of your commitment to
what you do. You may need to let go of some things in order to
concentrate on your dream.
Mark Zuckerberg, was 20 years
old and an undergraduate in Havard university when he started Facebook
in 2004. He got so passionate about his dream that he decided to give it
his all. When he realized that his academic activities at Havard would
not allow him give his all to his dream, he took a monumental decision, a
decision that many considered unwise at that time. He dropped out of
Havard, in order to have adequate time for his pet project, Facebook.
Today, Mark is world's youngest billionaire, with a net worth of
17.5billion US dollars as of March 2012.
noteworthy to mention here that Mark is an atheist. He does not even
believe in God. He only applied the universal principle of success and
the result is there for all to see. This is why I said, do not
over-burden God. He is no respecter of persons. He will not do for you
what He has given you power to do for yourself. Worshiping Him in spirit
and In truth does not substitute for the observance of principles.
Whoever applies these universal principles will reap the fruits thereof.
Knowing God and worshiping Him in utmost piety becomes indeed, an added
advantage and not a substitute to fundamental principles.
DON'T OVER-BURDEN GOD! (part 4)
has been said time and again, that procrastination is the thief of
time. Most people cry to God to provide for them ALL that is needed to
start their dreams. They consider what is in their hands too little and
grossly insufficient to kick-start their pet-project. So over the years,
they have had to wait and postpone the commencement of their dreams,
until EVERYTHING is in place. They have had to fast and pray for God to
bring men and women of immeasurable wealth their way, that will supply
them with ALL that they need to get started. Some have visited several
praying mountains and have observed countless spiritual 'programs', in
order to attract the necessary funds and goodwill that is needed to
kick-start their dream project. Indeed, many have so waited over the
years, that their faith has metamorphosed into frustration and an
absolute apathy for things of the spirit.
couple of weeks ago, I wrote a poem that I posted on my Facebook wall
as an exhortation to my Facebook friends. I wish to reproduce same
here, to buttress my point.
When will my status change?
I have been
Around this mountain
For too long!
People all around me
To their next levels
Yet I stagnate...
When will my status change?
In tears I slept
And in dreamland
I behold an angel
White as snow
Huge as a giant
Whisper solemn in my ears...
Your status will change
When you change...
When you dare to dream
And stake your life
On your dream
When you develop your mind
That your eyes
May see what others look
When you drop
Friends that kill your dream
And friend they that live their dreams
So ask not
When your status will change
When you will be ready
To change your status
For the power of WHEN
Lies within your palm.
Dr. Thomas S. Wilson (c2012)
last verse of this poem summarizes it so well; 'for the power of WHEN,
lies within your palm'. When the student is ready, the master shows up.
truth is, ALL the funds that you need is embedded in that little
'change' in your pocket. All you need do is to START with that
'insufficient' amount and keep moving. There are helpers of destiny who
have been sent to aid you to the next level. But they will never show up
until you show up. You will never discover them until you kick-start
that dream. The irony is that some of them are people you know so well.
But until you start, your money that is in their pockets will never find
its way to your pocket.
impediment to the realization of any dream, is to wait until EVERYTHING
is in place. You may as well wait for eternity! The truth is, everything
is in that little thing in your hands. Don't wait for an ideal time.
Start now. Your beginning may appear ridiculous, but inside that
ridiculous lies the miraculous.
SHUT UP !
Kola was lowered six feet down into the grave, there was tears and
wailings by all that gathered by his grave-side. A promising young man
of 28years old, full of dreams and ideas. Another mind-bugging addition
to the wealth of the graveyard.
friend, Dr. Myles Munroe made a statement in a seminar several years
ago. He said, the richest place on earth is not the oil field in Saudi
Arabia, or the gold mines in Indonesia ; the richest place on earth is
the graveyard. Because there in the grave yard are dreams that were
never realized, books that were never written, kings that died as
slaves, wealthy men that died as paupers. The graveyard he said, is
filled with potentials!
This week, I
will be sharing with you one of the factors that have sent too many
potentials to the great beyond. The very factor that sent Kola, a
promising young man, the beacon of hope for his humble family, to an
Kola participated in the
last America Visa Lottery. And as fate would have it, he won.
Considering his very poor background and how that he struggled to
graduate from the University of Benin, he could not but thank his stars!
Out of excitement, he told his "close friends" that he had won the
prestigious American Visa lottery and that he had even gone to the
American embassy for interview and was successful. His father sold the
only building the family had to raise money for the ticket. Date for
departure fixed. Kola decided to throw a send-forth party for his
friends the night before his departure. While winning and dinning was
going on, a lady came screaming to the party floor. When the
Well-wishes followed her trail, they discovered the body of Kola in the
back of the family house, in a pool of his own blood. Dead!
Kola was stabbed to death by an unknown assailant and the jack-knife left in his abdomen!
dreamers have had their dreams truncated because they could not put
their tongues in check. Some have outrightly lost their lives.
How loose is your tongue?
you the type that goes about broadcasting your dreams to every Dick and
Harry even before you set out the plans? It makes you feel good. It
soothens your nerves and makes you feel on top of the world. But the
bitter truth is that, if care is not taken, that dream may not go beyond
that level. Yes, the level of dreams...
This is why I said last week that "show me your friends and I will show you your destiny".
choice of the people you associate with will determine in which
direction you will be ultimately headed. Are you the "sole-champion"
amongst your friends? What do you discuss each time you are together? If
his presence cannot add to you, then his absence will not take anything
No matter who you are
surrounded with, be careful who you discuss your dreams with. I have a
simple rule that I have applied over the years: if you have no role to
play in the fulfillment of my dream , then I have no business discussing
it with you!
True. Of what use is discussing my dreams with you when I am not expecting you to play any role in its fulfillment?
friends, if your dreams will come through, please learn to shut up! It
is better for your 'friends' to see the result of your dreams than to
see the dream in the pipeline.
of people who have said to me that whenever they openly discuss their
dreams, such dreams eventually never come to pass. So over the years,
they have learnt painfully, to keep their dreams to themselves,
sometimes to the infuriation of their close allies.
the story of Joseph in the bible? He dreamt and saw the sheafs of his
elder brothers bow to his own sheaf. And each time, he told his dreams
to his elder brothers, they envied and hated him.
they conspired and threw him in the pit to die. In his own peculiar
case, he was fortunate to have risen from the pit to the throne. Many
have not been so fortunate. Several have moved from the pit to their
grave and have their destinies terminated, simply because they refused
to shut up!
So friends, as you dream
big and hope to conquer the world, please be careful who you discuss
with. Your best friend today might be your worst enemy tomorrow. If he
has no role to play in its fulfillment, he has no business knowing, at
least for now.
The future belongs to they that dream and they that have learnt to shut up!
SHINE YOUR EYES !
It has been said that many eyes look, but very few see.
All around us are beacons on opportunities. But most people do not see them as such. Because most times they come, disguised.
you are today is the product of the things you "saw" yesterday. In the
same vein, where you will be tomorrow will largely depend on the things
you "see" today.
If your dreams will come through, you must learn to SEE THE THINGS YOU LOOK.
And where there appears as not much to behold, then you can look within and create your own world for the world to admire.
a few days ago, shortly after the commissioning of the water fountain
at the Alagbaka round-about in Akure, I rode past the spot at about 8pm
and saw several people gathered around the fountain, most of them posing
and snapping pictures with their camera phones. Beyond the fun, I SAW
an opportunity to make quick cash.
When I got home, I
posted on my Facebook wall that I was looking for a young man who will
come to that spot with a wait-and-get camera, snap fun-seekers, wash the
pictures and give them the finished products in a jiffy. I mentioned in
that post that whosoever comes up with that, stands a good chance of
making "cool cash".
Why was I able to
see money in the fountain, when majority of other people saw fun? The
reason is because, over the years, I have learnt to "shine my eyes"...
you look at anything, learn to process the information in your mind and
ask yourself how that sight can benefit you. How that sight can benefit
your environment. How that sight can be refined to make your dreams
The future belongs to
dreamers. People who will look at things and begin to dream about them.
People who will look at the status quo and ask questions as to what they
can do to make a difference. People who will always ask the question
HOW? How can I process this sight to actual isle my dream? How can I
make the world a better place with this thing that I am seeing?
Many eyes look, but very few see.
future belongs to those who look beyond the ordinary. Those who see the
things they look, will forever be ahead of them that look.
Nothing on earth, is at its finished state.
beautiful inventions of today are but the raw materials for the
inventions of tomorrow. But it will take a seeing eye to behold the raw
materials in every facet of attainment.
The moment you
become complacent and believe that you have arrived, watch it, you just
might be on your way down. Nature does not allow for statism. You are
either moving up or you are on your way down. So he that will remain
relevant in his field and sphere will forever be on the move. And
progressive movement begins with what you see and how you interprete
your sight into vision.
attempted snapping a picture with an analogue camera without a film?
The camera will snap alright, but because there is no film inside the
camera, the image will not be processed. This is what happens to most
on-lookers. They look. But that "looking" requires a processing to
become "seeing". And Where there is no refined, defined reservoir in the
mind, then the image remains a mere image, or at best a mirage of
How then do we develop
our minds to a level where it is able to process every information from
our eyes into the fulfillment of our dreams?
week I shall share with you two vital ingredients that you need to
shine your eyes, and make them the magnetic dark-room of your destiny.
INGREDIENT 1: STUDY
has been said over and over that you cannot give what you do not have.
When a primary school drop-out speaks English language, you will tell
the difference from when a university graduate speaks the same language.
What makes the difference? Study!
I say 'study', I do not just refer to the conventional books you are
made to read in the course of your acquiring a formal education in
institutions of learning. Those are good. Necessary for the acquisition
of knowledge required in your chosen discipline.
there is a higher level of study. The level where you go out of your way
to procure books, not necessarily related to your discipline, sit down
to study them as though you would be required to write exams on them.
this category are books on motivation, inspiration, financial
management, relationships, spiritual compassing. I strongly recommend
that you should continuously read one at every point in time, as to keep
your mind alive. For your eyes can only be sharpened, to the degree of
deposits of treasure present in your mind.
INGREDIENT 2: ASSOCIATION
you know that your friends and associates can influence the things you
see? Sometimes you may see when they look. And when you dare share the
vision of what you are seeing with them, they may discourage you, shut
you down and give you a thousand and one reasons why it could not be
Whether you know it or not, where you are today has been greatly influenced by your choice of association.
are your friends? Who are the people you allow into your inner closet?
Who are the people you discuss your dreams with? They will either
positively influence you to shine your eyes, making you to see the gold
beneath every thrash, or produce a dulling effect on your mind, causing
you to look without seeing.
eyes will remain sharpened, there are people you must avoid. There are
phone calls you must stop picking. There are numbers you must delete
from your cell phone. There are invitations you must decline. There are
places you must stop going to. There are relationships you must break.
There are relationships you must cultivate. For your associations have
an immense influence of the power of your vision. So if you want to
develop eyes that see, you must first review your associations.
Indeed, the future belong to dreamers. The select few that "shine" their eyes and SEE when others LOOK.
THE MYSTERY OF GIVING...AND RECEIVING.
is part of the human nature to want to acquire things unto himself.
Greed is an Adamic characteristic in the mortal being. The more you
acquire unto yourself, the wealthier you become.
Indeed, the natural instinct of man is to get all he can, can all he gets and sit on it!
there exists yet another theory. A theory that appears contrasting to
the earlier one we had known over the years. This is the theory of
giving. This theory states that when you give, you open celestial doors
that cause wealth to flow in your direction.
people consider the latter theory an exclusive preserve of the wealthy.
They believe that for you to give, you must be rich. Why on earth would
you expect a man who could barely take care of his needs to give out
the little he has to another fellow, all in the name of 'giving'?
average persons will tell you that even they, need to be given to,
because what they have is yet grossly insufficient unto them and their
However, an understanding
of the theory of giving is all that is needed to liberate the mind and
cause a total turn-around in the way we view this all-important theory
you ever wondered why most rich people are into philanthropy? Because
they understand this theory. But most of us would think that they are
into the act of giving because they are wealthy. While that is partly
correct, the real reason why they can't but give is not known to most
people. This is the mystery I seek to unravel herein.
money in your possession is not entirely yours. It is actually a
function of three categories. First, the one you use to meet your daily
needs. Secondly, the one you save for the future. Thirdly, the one you
give to people.
most of us fuse up the third category into the first and second ones.
The hidden secret however is that the degree to which the first and the
second category flourish is a function of the benevolence of the third!
will illustrate this theory in a very simple way. If for instance,
what you need to run your home monthly is fifty thousand naira and you
make about eighty thousand naira monthly. Having committed fifty
thousand naira to running your home and kept some away for the future,
the rest IS NOT YOURS. Yes, what remains therein belongs to some other
persons. You are but a care-taker, holding the money in trust for the
Let me quickly add here.
The said amount set aside for the purpose of giving should not just be
any paltry sum of your wish. It should not be less than 10% of your
By the grace of God, I
have four kids; the eldest is Ejiro, followed by a set of triplets. Let
us go on a voyage of imagination. They get into school and I wish to
embark on a journey that would take me about a month. I envisaged that
each of them would be comfortable with #40,000 per month as 'pocket
money' and gave same to them individually. However, before departing I
called Ejiro aside and gave her additional #20,000 extra. This extra is
to cater for any unforeseen need for herself and her junior ones. Should
they need additional monies, she should give out #5,000 to each of the
triplets, while she keeps #5000 for herself. This extra has made her
'wealthier' than others. Yet, not her money.
my return from the trip however, the triplets exhausted their monies
and were in need. Ejiro saw them in that state, yet refused to release
unto them the extra I had given her for that purpose.
I return, one thing is certain. I will never again commit unto Ejiro's
hands the commonwealth of others, the extra that made her 'wealthy'.
Because she has shown that when the original owners come for it, she
would not be faithful to release it unto them.
The above scenario is an illustration of the principle of giving I seek to amplify.
extra in your hands is not yours. It was given to you to keep in trust
for the original owners. That is what makes you comfortable. Because you
were given far more than you need. So when the original owners ( the
needy) come for it, please be faithful enough to release it unto them.
fact, many of them are ignorant of the fact that your money is in their
hands, and are therefore not confident enough to come to you. For such
categories of the needy, please approach them and render unto them that
which is committed unto your hands on their behalf.
is why you cannot afford to give with pride and arrogance. When you
give unto a needy, you should so do with utmost humility. The reason is
because the extra in your hands that makes you wealthy is actually their
So, what becometh of he who withholdeth more than is meant. The answer is simple...he turneth to poverty and lack.
the other hand however, if you are benevolent in giving out to the
needy their dues, more resources will be divinely committed unto your
hands and how great your abundance shall be.
act of giving is not the exclusive preserve of the rich. No matter the
financial status of a man,he yet has something he can give. The only
difference is that the quantum of his gift might be dependent on the
overall gravity of his possession.
conclusion, the window of abundance opens to them who from the 'little'
in their possession, give to be a blessing unto others. For when you
give, it shall be given unto you.
THE PRINCIPLES OF GIVING TO RECEIVE:
PRINCIPLE 01: EXPECT NOTHING FROM THE RECIPIENT:
people give but complain that they receive not in return. Yet over the
years, they have been told that when they give, they shall receive.
week, we shall begin the series on the principles of giving to receive
and x-ray the first of the principles in this all-important dictum.
In this clime, it is a popular saying that; "nothing goes for nothing"!
For you to receive something tangible, you are expected to first 'wet the ground' else you might wait till the end of time.
when you show benevolence by giving to a person in need, society
expects that person to in turn, show appreciation by giving you
something in return. What the person gives back to you is a function of
what is available. Should the fellow fail to give back something in
'appreciation' , we term the fellow an ingrate and not worthy of future
A couple of weeks ago, a
young lady came to me with an application. Having graduated from the
university and completed the compulsory one year youth service, she hit
the labour market in the quest for employment.
her that we just concluded our vacancy schedule for the year and all the
spaces had been occupied. I however recommended her to a sister
organization that would be conducting interview for new staff in the
To my amazement, this
lady mentioned the name of the CEO of the outfit and turned down my
recommendation note. According to her, in spite of my letter of
recommendation, the CEO would still make sexual advances at her before
considering her for employment. The young lady claimed that she had two
of her friends working in that organization. Out of desperation to
secure employment, they were left with no option than to succumb to the
pressures from the CEO, who indeed gave them employment after spending a
night with them in a hotel suite. Till date, he still sleeps with them
as at when due.
That CEO is a very
benevolent man, giving to people and providing employments to a large
number of young graduates. But from the principle of giving to receive,
he has no more rewards from the celestial. He gave jobs and received
If you have ever rendered
assistance to a person, whenever you are in need, make that person your
last option, in considering persons you would approach for assistance
when in need. When you give unto a person and you return thereafter to
demand assistance from same, you have received your reward. That person
would be under pressure to reciprocate your good gesture. And in so
doing, expect no more from the celestial.
last year, I overheard the lamentations of a young man whose wife just
put to bed. According to this fellow, a couple of months earlier, his
best friend's wife was delivered of a bouncing baby boy. He visited him
in company of his wife and presented to the couple two rows of pampers,
three baby clothes and a cash gift of five thousand naira.
when his own wife put to bed, his friend visited him 'with an empty
hand'. No cash donation, no pampers, no baby clothes. Just an 'ordinary'
visit! He lamented so loudly how much of an ingrate his friend was.
of us commit this blunder. We give and look forward to receiving from
the same person whom we had given to. And when we do not receive from
that person in the expected quantum, we take offense and express our
frustration. This runs contrary to the principle of giving to receive.
you give to a person, it will do you a great deal of good if you wipe
out the memory from your consciousness. This way, you would not remember
that you ever gave anything to that person.
some persons do you good, they will turn it into a source of bondage
for you. Everything you do thereafter will be in the light of 'if not
for me'... Even though, they may not verbalize it, yet their actions
shout it at roof top. Such persons have received their rewards.
persons take offense, when they give to a person and the recipient of
their benevolence did not show 'enough appreciation' . They expect the
recipient to prostrate or kneel down profusely, while receiving from
As if that is not enough, some
will even expect the recipient to come with members of his or her family
to show appreciation. All of these are mere showmanship and negates the
principles of giving to receive. Whosoever engages in such has received
If your giving will yield
fruits, you must give and expect nothing from the recipient. That way,
your reward will come from above. For when you receive out of pressure,
from the one who benefitted from your benevolence, verily verily I say
unto you, you have received your reward.
THE PRINCIPLES OF GIVING TO RECEIVE 02
the years, I have heard preachers repeatedly say "give, and it shall be
given unto you". Many have had to give, yet receive little or nothing
in return. A couple of people have even propounded their own theories of
the principles of giving and receiving, at variance with the norms of
the Creator. Little wonder they give and receive no reward theretofore.
am I supposed to give? To whom do I give? In what quantum do I give?
With what attitude should I give? What general principles guide the
process of giving and receiving? Except one has a good understanding of
these principles, he shall give and receive not in return.
The principle of giving to receive is hinged on three pillars:
1. The giver
2. The gift
3. The receiver.
giver is the individual who is benevolent enough to let go parts of his
personal belongings to another. He needs to have an understanding of
certain principles, lest his benevolence goes to waste. Over the years,
we have had people who have given to others, yet did not receive the
expected rewards that is said to come with this act. Some have even
jettisoned the concept, believing that it is one of those empty,
old-fashioned philosophies. Yet some others, over several years have
made this a corner-stone of their day-to-day activities and have
benefitted immensely theretofore. Wherein lies the difference? Why is
one act rewarding to one and not rewarding to another? The answer lies
in the understanding of the principle behind benevolence.
the other hand, the item given out as gift is of paramount importance.
The type of items he gives and the quantum in which he gives it
determines whether his gift will bring forth fruits or not. Is there a
particular requirement that my gift must meet before it can produce
rewards for me? Do I need to inconvenience myself all in the name of
giving? Do I give at my convenience or as a compulsion?
receiver of the gift is of sore importance because not everyone is
deserving of your gift. So, to whom are you expected to give? At what
instance are you to give? Are there people you should avoid giving to?
What should be your attitude to the receiver after he has received your
The above stated three pillars
are the foundations on which the theory of giving to receive is hinged.
To give therefore in ignorance of the workings of these injunctions is a
kin to throwing a pin in the Atlantic and expecting to retrieve it
A few days ago, I met a
middle-aged man who lamented to me that he no longer believes in the
principle of giving to receive. According to him, he used to be very
benevolent; giving to people in his environment. In fact, the king of
his community gave him a chieftaincy tittle in recognition of his many
works of charity. However, his business took a nose-dive and all his
investments went under. Today, he is full of questions. How come in
spite of his benevolence, his business came crashing? How come nobody
came to his own rescue while on the other hand he was there for others
in their own moments of dark-clouds. How come, how come...? Endless
The good thing about asking
questions is that if you ask sincerely enough, answers will come your
way, provided you ask at the right time, in the right quantum, with the
right spirit, from the right source.
THE PRINCIPLES OF GIVING TO RECEIVE
PRINCIPLE 03: DO NOT MURMUR...
Kolade is a successful businessman who is also a celebrated
philanthropist in his locality. One evening, a young man named Bayo, a
student of Adekunle Ajasin University, Akungba-Akoko visited him in his
office along Oba Adesida road, Akure.
came to plead with Mr. Kolade for financial assistance. According to
him, his parents were very rich, but died in the Bellview air crash that
happened on October 22, 2005. Since the demise of both parents, he
said that things have not been the same for him anymore. Infact, he
finds it difficult to feed on campus not to mention the uphill task of
paying his school fees.
moved with compassion, gave Bayo an envelope containing one hundred
thousand naira. While Bayo was on his way out of the office, he ran into
Gladys, the only daughter of Mr. Kolade. Both of them were
undergraduates of the same institution. Beyond that however, Gladys knew
Bayo as a very rough and care-free guy who surrounded himself with bad
boys and spent money recklessly.
entering into his dad's office, Gladys asked him what on earth a pervert
like Bayo was doing in his office. She went on to narrate what manner
of fellow Bayo was and all of his misdemeanors on campus. Naturally,
Mr. Kolade felt bad and secretly regretted giving out his hard earned
money to such an undeserving fellow.
we give unto a person, only to realize later on that the person is not
deserving of our gift. At such times, the tendency is for us to regret
our actions and begin to murmur. We may not necessarily complain to the
hearing of other people, but deep within ourselves, we murmur and wished
we had not given out that precious gift to that 'idiot'.
your giving must yield receiving, when you give, you should disregard
the character of the benefactor. It is none of your business whether the
recipient is deserving of your gift or not. Your own responsibility is
to give to a person that is in need. Remember what I stated at the
beginning of this series? I stated that the reason why the Creator will
continue to release abundance unto you is because He trusts that when
the needy cry to you for assistance, you will release unto them that
which originally belonged to them, but was committed to your hands for
safe-keeping until the real owners come for them.
when the real owners come for them, it is not in your power to sit in
judgement over them. Your own responsibility is to release the items
unto them, for they are indeed the original owners.
when you give unto a person, do not murmur about the person's character
thereafter. For if you murmur after giving, you have killed the seed of
instances, a person approaches you for assistance and you so oblige,
only to discover later that the person lied to you! Indeed, this could
be painful. There is a natural tendency for you to feel used. But you
will only feel that way if you do not have a proper knowledge of the
principle of giving to receive.
can be likened to a man who is to embark on a journey and gave some
money to a neighbour to give to his children should they need extra
funds. If such children fabricate lies to collect money from the money
keeper, they do so in ignorance. And indeed, it is not in the powers of
the keeper to sit in judgement over the character of the children. His
scope is simple, to give money to the children whenever they so request.
An understanding of this principle is
so germane as to save us unnecessary heartaches. Give within the
context of your capacity and do not complain about the recipient
thereafter. Do not murmur about how undeserving he is of your gift. Do
not sit in regret over the given item. Give and put your eyes off the
benefactor. For you have not really done him any good. Rather, you have
done yourself good. For in giving, you open more windows for your
Verily verily I say unto
you, he that giveth unto another and complaineth thereafter has received
his reward. For murmur is unto giving, what hot water is unto a seed.
THE PRINCIPLES OF GIVING TO RECEIVE
PRINCIPLE 04: GIVE IN HUMILITY
when one gives unto another, the giver tends to feel that he has done a
great amount of good to the receiver. Hence, the tendency in for the
giver to feel superior to the receiver, an air that courts a dictum of
arrogance in the giver.
beginning of this series, I did highlight the premise upon which giving
must be done if the giver expects to receive thereto-from. I gave an
instance using my four kids; Ejiro and the triplets. I will recount that
illustration for the purpose of driving home the message of this topic.
I was to embark on a journey and gave
all of my four kids monies for their upkeep while I travelled. However,
on a second thought, I felt that somewhere along the line, they may
exhaust their monies and be in need of extras. I then called Ejiro aside
and gave her a large sum of money secretly, without the knowledge of
the triplets. This money belongs to the triplets. Should they run out of
funds and approach her, she should do well to release same to them.
extra I have given to Ejiro, makes her appear richer than others. But
the truth is, she is only in possession of other people's property. But
nature has so designed it that if she is faithful in giving to the
original owners when they come to her in need, even more will be
committed into her hands.
So, it will
be strange and indeed an expression of oddity, if she gives to the
triplets in arrogance. They are the reason why she appears richer than
others. So if anything, she should be grateful to them and whenever she
is opportuned to give unto them, she should do so with humility of
It is the ignorance of this
principle that makes people look down upon the less privileged when they
approach them for assistance.
less privileged person approaches you for assistance, he is only
demanding that which rightly belongs to him. That which belonged to him,
but was committed to your hands for safe-keeping until such a time when
he shall require it. So when you are giving unto him, you should do so
in humility. You are expected to give in humility because you have
traded with his capital and have profited therefrom. So you should
indeed show appreciation to him, for he is the reason why the extra was
committed into your hands!
ignorance of this principle is the reason why most rich folks look down
upon the less privileged when they show benevolence to them. Some indeed
see them as pests that are not worthy of attention, the under-dogs of
the human race.
A rich folk once gave
out money to a needy woman in my presence. The scenario yet brings tears
to my eyes each time I remember, even though it happened several years
ago. An elderly woman, obviously looking unkept, came to the residence
of this rich folk. I happened to be there at that time to attend to a
sick family member. By the time this rich folk got to know of the
presence of this woman, she was already in the living room with a
malnourished child, sitting down on one of the expensive Italian leather
settee of this business mogul . He walked in and was embarrassed to see
this 'poverty-stricken' duo sitting in his expensive
tastefully-furnished lounge. The woman on seeing him, quickly went on
her knees, begging that this rich folk give her money to pay for the
rent of her house that had expired three months earlier. According to
her, the landlord had threatened to throw out her belongings if she
failed to pay up a week from that visit.
rich folk, obviously irritated and uncomfortable with the presence of
the woman, went inside his bedroom, came up with the required sum of
money, THREW it at her and walked away.
The poor widow
had to pick up the scattered notes from the floor and left, singing his
praise and raining prayers on him for saving her and her kid from
imminent expulsion from her residence.
rich folk in question here indeed showed benevolence to the needy, but
did so in arrogance. He saw the recipient as a pest and treated her as
such. Although the poor widow 'prayed' for him, yet a major principle
had been breached here. And principles are no respecter of persons. If
you obey them, they will work for you. If you disobey them, they will
work against you.
If that rich folk
could be benevolent enough to meet the need of that poor widow, how so
wonderful it would have been, if he had done so with a humble spirit.
Enveloping the money neatly and giving it to her with humility, uttering
a few encouraging words, would have been simply amazing.
Not all givings produce result. For your giving to bring forth fruits, you must observe the principles of giving to receive.
Verily verily I say unto you, he that giveth unto another in arrogance, has receiveth his rewards.